Right, i’m back here again, after spending a couple of days with the family.

Big shame about my grandad but he did have a good life and went peacefully in his sleep bless him. 83 aint a bad age to reach really. He will be missed by us all. RIP Grandad

I stayed with my uncle Dave for two nights and did alot of catching up with him, had a few beers and ate kebabs and chatted about old times and my grandad. I enjoyed his company, I hadnt seen him for ages.

Also saw my Mum & Step Dad, and my Grandma, they all seem to be taking it ok, but they are strong minded people and hold it all in I think. Someone has to be strong I suppose.
After whats happened to my grandad I have decided that I need to be closer to my friends and family and will be moving back to Mansfield soon. It has made me realise a few things about myself and the relationship with my family. I will still come and see my Dad and hopefully he will come over to see me too. I have to do this though, I miss them all way too much.

I’ll more than likely get a weekend/part time job whilst MOS gets up and running, to take the pressure off and pay my way at my mates house. I have spoken to a friend Gaz who is more than happy to let me come and stay with him, he has a spare room and internet access so i’ll be sound.

I am gonna miss being over here as its so peaceful and calm but at the same time, I have alot of things to do with Olly and my family and friends are very important to me.

I know for sure that i’m making the right decision and another good thing is that i’m gonna be giving it another go with a girl I once went out with a few years ago. It all crumbled due to our personal lives and age etc but I feel that all thats under the bridge now and we can make another go of it. I’m more than happy about it, it kinda came out of nowhere.

Aint it strange how things can just change like that? So soon. Its all too much to take in right now but its all good.

More to come in a few days, I have alot to do over the next week. Back to the hometown again for the funeral and a few other things. Until then. Adios

Woke up this morning with a strange feeling that I was gonna get a call tellin me someone had died, dont know why, maybe cos its a year since Dom died, who knows?

Anyway, an hour later my Mum calls me to tell me my Grandad has passed away this morning. We have been expecting it for sometime now as he has been Ill for a while. I’m not happy at all, it was the last thing I expected right now but at the same time i’m glad that he died in peace and was not in any pain. RIP Grandad, I’m gonna miss you, if only I had seen you recently

Funeral should be next week, as well as that stupid fuckin court case thats still goin on. Man, how fuckin angry does that make me? One day that lad’s gonna get a shock of his life.

See ya’ll after the weekend, i’m off to see family and friends.

What a turn around. I think its all to do with everything thats going off around me. Olly & Wardo’s lives have changed and their both happy, which makes me happy for them. Olly is alot more relaxed and completely focused which gives me alot more confidence with what we are doing. I feel like we are a proper team now more than ever. I’m so excited about the future.

Maxxd had its second baby today, we have called it Maxxd Online Solutions. This is what we have been working on for some time now, messing with different ideas and doing research into the industry for almost two years. Finally, the new era has arrived.

Other people that I am close too seem to be happy too, such a lot has happened in the past couple of weeks, all for the good I think.

I have got so many good ideas and i’m getting through them one by one

I keep thinking about a girlfriend and really don’t know what to do. If I had one would they put up with my lifestyle, the cars, the shows, everything I’m doing with Olly. It could take up alot of time in the near future and take over my life a little. The modded car industry is a hard one. I do need someone there though to take out and spend time with. I miss it.

I need to get everything advertised across the UK as soon as possible without incurring any costs. Sure we can sort something out

More to come later

Well, day one. I feel absolutely wicked, no stress, no anxiety today. I had a letter through this morning about the mortgage I once had. I was nervous at first as I have been having doubts about the whole process but luckily things have been sorted out. It is a huge weight off my shoulders let me tell you.

Also, Sarah B came to see me yesterday on her way back from London which was nice, had a beer and a chat. BIG MISTAKE, someone hadn’t read the information leaflet about the tablets. NO ALCOHOL & No DRIVING until you know how you react to them.

Whoooooooooops.. Shortly after leaving the pub I went light headed then got a massive rush, something similar to what ecstacy gives you. Was well strange, I immediately pulled over and chilled for a bit.

Went to see a few mates in town and stayed there for a bit and had more funny feelings, this time, I went all tired and attempted to go to sleep. Five minutes passed and I was feeling full of it again and after a chat with Ash decided we were gonna attack his damaged bumper with fibreglass and sandpaper.

Had a day on the PC today, finishin a few things or should I say a document for the new site which should be done by the end of the week.

Olly and Wardo are both completely happy and excited about the move. I’m so glad that within a few days everyones life has been turned round. They both deserve it. Rock on 2007 its gonna be awesome. Feel like I got three close brothers now with Ko aswell, just need to see him a bit more often too once I can afford to travel over more often.

Last but not least a very good mate of mine called today (Kris), he is someone I am also close with and we talk about business and general life. I have learnt a few things from that man, he’s a top bloke and is kinda in the same situation as me in some respects.

As my good friend Duncan told me and reminds me: All you need in life is to surround yourself with good people and you’ll do well and be happy. I feel like i’ve got that now and the best is yet to come.

More from me later on or tomorrow.

WOW. What a good feeling, Positivity needs to stay on this level for sure

mmmmmmmmm, as you may have read recently, things have been up and down and I think the last few months or years maybe have caught up with me very rapidly.

Found myself freaking out, getting anxious and nervous about things for no apparant reason. Its been happening for a while, i just ignored it.

Been to the doctors this morning and told him absolutely everything about the past and how I feel and he has put me one some tablets. From what we can see its anxiety and depression caused by the past and whats going off at the moment. He has given me tablets called Sertraline which he claims will help immensly and make me feel like a different person.

It will slow me down a bit and get me into a proper sleep pattern if I train myself into doing it. Should help me to focus alot more and not get so worried about things and chill me out a bit more.

On the other hand, I’m still confident about everything, 110 percent. Olly has changed dramatically over the weekend and is kinda keeping my mind afloat and at rest. He is full of confidence, just what I need really.

At this precise moment I am in a bit of a daze, although I have got on with things today, and just keep staring at the screen doing work and shutting everything else out.

More to come later on, lets see if these tablets work

Well, it all went amazingly super dooper

It rained a little bit but that wasnt too bad, it was bearable.

I aint gonna go into too much detail but the main bits kinda went like:

Loads of Maxxd folk, loads of beer and spirits, pink BBQs, Gaz getting stupidly drunk on homemade wine and inventing a new slurred language, swimming in the shit infested lake Bekki also got tossed in which was even funnier. Mak the legend got a bit drunk too and ended up falling out and nearl getting into a fight with Stu. Fiona managed to neck a bottle of vodka and fall over, breaking her arm in a bad way. I got to drive the Type R thanks to Fi tho

We did a few random things like going up the posh hotel and chilling in this outdoor bit in the warm. The others went up the night after too and infiltrated the place even more, but I stayed on the camp site and can’t actually remember what I did that night. All i do know is that Saturday night I had no sleep, and for once felt ok for it.

The show itself was class, we had a nice area for the club and had quite a few cars on show. Me & Walshee got some press bibs and got real close to all the drifting action and close to stages when girls were doin their thang. What a mint buzz to get that close for a change.

I avoided going home, for some reason, I didnt wanna go back, I really miss all my mates back in Mansfield. I have alot of things to be getting on with and I just wish that I lived closer to Olly. I  miss that guy more than he knows, this is sounding gay i know but im far from it. We have been close mates for sometime now and started Maxxd together. Due to the shit that has erupted in our personal and business lives, we have been held back sop much and its so frustrating. Now I am getting sorted and he is starting a new chapter in his life, we can both concentrate on things a little more. He is gonna be renting a house with Wardo which will be fun i’m sure.

Wardo has been in the club for sometime now but its only recently that myself and Olly have got closer to him and got to know him alot better. That lad is mint, and deserves a good turn in life. It makes me sick to think about one of his Ex’s, what she has done and how much of a cunt she was, proper took the piss. He is a nice lad and he WILL find the right person and they’ll love him and he’ll be happy.

It feels like Karma has come round and kinda sorted us all out, cos things could not really be any better this year. OK, alot has gone off and caused alot of stress, anger and depression. This goes for all three of us, but its all for the better, and we have all taken advantage of the cards we have been dealt. From this day on, things are gonna change.

After a weekend away from everything I have a had alot more ideas for the company and we are putting them into action right now. Me & Ol are both sat on the PC sorting out new content for the site and finalising everything so that I can hit the phones again and start getting some business in.

I dont know what has given us both this huge kick up the arse but its cool, we needed it, fuck letting your personal life affect your goals. Lifes too important.

Me & Olly have find ourselves in a similar situation at the same time, its well freaky.

We both have met girls that we really like and they feel the same about us, however, they are both in realtionships that they are not happy with, to be honest, they are crying out for a way out, but are scared of the consequences by the sounds of things. Well strange, I aint sayin no more, we’ll see what happens. Are all these changes this year a sign for us both cos its as if things are happening to force us into our new lives and to enable more control over what we are doing? Who knows? We’ll see. I am stayin positive.

Everything is falling into line now, Maxxd is getting sorted, things are looking good, theres still folk out there trying to stop us in our tracks and hold us back, without mentionin any names. NOTHING or NO ONE WILL or CAN stop us from getting where we wanna be. Jealously, Envy, call it what you want, you aint stoppin us.

I was feeling pretty shit the last couple of days, maybe it was just tiredness or the fact that alots going off and has gone off over the past few months and it’s all sinking in. I have had these feelings before tho, and I know how to overcome the demons that I find myself with sometimes.

Just before I finish, I thought i’d write this down. Sunday night on the way home from Trax and old friend called who last year, Me Olly & Sy were kinda going into business with. Things their end went tits up and Simon (my mate) got the rough end of it all. His partner Damien screwed him over big style and also got Maxxd a bit of a bad name with Future Publishing. Luckily for us, I had a meeting with one of the Sales Managers from Future Publishing and sorted all the problems out that Damien had created for us. The guy was understanding and we shook hands and both agreed to stay in touch and not let this guys fuck up ruin Maxxd’s reputation.

Anyways, Simon… he called me on the way home, random as anything as I had not spoken to him for quite some time. He got into a mess and it hit him hard, real hard. I called in to see him and stayed the night and had a right long chat which also led on until about 4pm the following day. I’m really happy that he contacted me cos I had my doubts if he was in on it with Damien or not and due to not talking for a while, the old paranoia kciked in and my mind kinda made up its own mind. He’s a good bloke and always had been. I have missed him as silly as it sounds cos we share the same interest and used to always be on the phone to one another about cars and the rest of it. Simon if you are reading this, Thanks dude, you have cleared up alot of little things in my head and made me feel alot better about the problems last year. AND I WILL get you back into the modded car scene if I have to drag your ass out, your getting back into it. You cannot have an S13 and S14 and not get back into it hardcore stylee.

I’m happy for the man, he has a lovely girlfriend, she seems so perfect, its unbelievable, got his house again and his cats and dogs, and seems happy. I hope all goes well for him, another one thats had a rough couple of years and deserves a good turn.

I’m gonna finish this for today now, been out in Peterborough all day and called in on a few engine/styling companies. I do love Peterborough but Wisbech sucks arse.

Bye for now